WyBlog

Elect me to represent NJ's 15th, 25th, or 26th Congressional District!

By now we've all had a good laugh over the many phantom Congressional Districts cropping up in Obama's Recovery.gov database. You know, the database which is supposed to provide us with transparency and accountability as he spends $787 billion dollars of our tax dollars.

Perusing the list for New Jersey I noted that contracts were awarded to recipients in the 15^th, 25^th, and 26^th Congressional Districts (and the 00^th District too).

Money was spent! Jobs were created! And yet, those poor people do not have actual Congressional representation! Someone needs to step up and bring home the bacon!

And in the immortal words of Bluto Blutarski, what we need is a really futile and stupid gesture to be done on somebody's part, and I'm just the guy to do it!

I hereby declare my candidacy to represent you, yes you, the phantom people of the 15^th Congressional District! (Why the 15^th? It got $2,818,506 of Stimulus money, the others less than a hundred grand each. I wanna go where the big bucks are!)

I pledge to fight tirelessly on your behalf in the halls of the U.S. Congress. You can count on me!

But listen up, running for Congress isn't cheap. So get out those checkbooks and donate to the cause. I'm looking to bring home John-Murtha-sized barrels of pork for you guys but I need to know that you're gonna make sure I get a taste. It's called "pay to play" and it's the New Jersey Way!

Disclaimer: For amusement purposes only, this offer not valid in Wisconsin. And yes, I totally stole this idea from TrogloPundit, but hey, he stole it from somebody else, so there.

Posted at 12:55 by Chris Wysocki   [/misc]   Comments | Archived | Perm Link |
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